I originally wrote the piece below in 2008 and wanted to share an updated reflection. Since then I’ve moved twice, but my feelings about home have stayed the same. I still believe in loving the home I have, even when it isn’t the house of my dreams. Over the years I’ve continued to share ideas about making a house feel like home. I also wrote a book, Love the Home You Have, which became a New York Times bestseller in March 2015, and The Inspired Room followed in November 2015.
Both books encourage stepping away from designer-portfolio expectations and looking at your own home with fresh eyes. Small, deliberate choices made right where you are and with what you have are what turn any house into a home.
Order at Amazon! >> The Inspired Room decorating book
NY Times Bestseller! >> Love the Home You Have
January 2008
For fun, I started imagining a virtual dream house, inspired by a friend’s post about dream homes. My dream styles swing wildly from an English cottage to a French chateau or a simple farmhouse. Big houses, small houses, summer houses, winter houses — I can’t settle on just one. I think I could be happy in many different styles because I find something I love in all of them.
Because I’m drawn to so many aesthetics, I don’t feel pressured to choose a single favorite. In real life we rarely build a dream house from scratch; more often we work with what we have and create our dreams inside our current walls. You may not be living your ultimate fantasy, but you can still make everyday life feel like a new adventure.
At the moment, my house has an Old World, cozy mood. It felt pointless to try to force a sunny, beachy vibe onto a home that suits an antique-filled, travel-treasures look. The house is large and rambling with stairways and long halls, and embracing that character felt more honest than fighting it. When a home has a defined style, working with it makes decorating easier — but mixing styles can also make a space feel more personal and unique.
Think about the life you’d design if you could choose every detail. Answering that question helps you create the home you want to live in. For us, the imagined life includes romance, charm, adventure, travel and the sensation of being in another era. Setting the right ambience is key to making that feeling real under your own roof.
Lighting is one of the simplest, most powerful tools for creating ambience. We love lamps and fixtures that contribute to the mood. One of the first things we fell for in our house was the antique lighting: lantern-style fixtures and wall sconces that feel like part of a fairytale. The lights themselves help sell the story of the home.
We also choose bulbs and shades carefully. Warm, low-wattage bulbs — typically 20 to 60 watts, with many lamps using the lower end — create a soft glow rather than harsh illumination. Candle-shaped bulbs and colored lampshades add to that warm, cozy effect. Overhead fixtures have dimmers and many lamps have three-way switches so we can layer light without wasting energy. Candles are part of the mix too.
In climates with many cloudy days, good lighting is essential to avoid a dark, dreary atmosphere. Proper lighting brightens corners and makes rooms inviting. Warm, low light can turn long hallways and staircases into places you want to explore, and it creates cozy nooks for reading or conversation. The same house could feel completely different with brighter, cooler lighting — so lighting choices matter regardless of your aesthetic.
Of course, our dream could be a sun-drenched house with Caribbean-striped rugs and breezy sheers. Even there, we’d use fixtures to balance light and define spaces. That style would evoke new sensations — waking to sea air, dining in a sunny courtyard, living a life that feels like a perpetual vacation. A different house suggests a different chapter in the story of your life, but the underlying desires — romance, adventure, and comfort — remain the same.
Even if you never own a picture-perfect dream home, you can still shape the life you want where you are. Embracing the character of your current home and making thoughtful choices about light, texture and furnishings brings the dream to life. For now, I’m content living in my imagined Old English castle and enjoying the journey of creating a home.
Stay tuned for future installments of Love the House You’re In and My Dream Home: The Series.
House drawings referenced originally came from houseplans.com and homeplans.com — helpful resources for exploring styles and floorplans when imagining your dream house.