July 2007
As someone who was brand new to blogging, I spent an afternoon exploring other people’s blogs to learn what it was all about. I stumbled upon an old friend Alicia’s blog and from there wandered into a world of beautiful, creative blogs by incredibly talented people. At first I felt overwhelmed and a little intimidated—how could I possibly produce something as polished and imaginative as what I was seeing?
I found myself comparing my life to those blogs. I don’t sew aprons or design baby clothes, I don’t make homemade pasta or delicate tartlets, and I certainly don’t stage elaborate backyard parties with step-by-step photo tutorials for gourmet dishes. In truth, I’ve never smoked a pork shoulder; our family dinners often mean Costco top sirloin burgers with ketchup. So I wandered through my house feeling inadequate.
Then I noticed the phrase under my blog and business name: Refining Your Home for Authentic Living™. Authentic living. That’s when it clicked. I promote authenticity—creating a home that reflects who you truly are—but I had let myself get distracted by images of things I couldn’t do or didn’t want to spend my time doing. I’d momentarily fallen into the trap of comparing my daily life to someone else’s highlight reel.
We all have different circumstances, talents, tastes, and goals. We live in different seasons of life and our blogs reflect that. Those differences are precisely what make each of us unique. If we embrace our individuality and shape our homes, lives, and creative outlets to reflect who we really are, we’ll be happier and more fulfilled.
It’s fine to be inspired by others and to let their creativity expand our sense of possibility. We can borrow ideas, adapt them, and use what fits our life. We don’t need to be Martha Stewart or any other perfection-standard blogger to create a beautiful, meaningful home. Beauty and insight can arise from our own realities.
My reality includes children aged 7 to 19, a house full of friends and activity, peanut butter sandwich crumbs on plates, parents temporarily living with us during a remodel, a husband who helps around the house but prefers watching a movie to crafting handmade paper, running a decorating consulting business, and caring for a 4,700-square-foot 1930s fixer-upper on a limited budget. I love a beautiful home, but my life is busy and imperfect.
So my approach is to blend that reality with inspiration from others and create something that works for my family and brings me joy. That is what authentic living and decorating mean to me—making a home that reflects the people who live there, not a staged version of someone else’s ideal. Embracing our own lives and what we can realistically accomplish leads to a more satisfying, genuine home and blog.