This week I turned in the final chapter of my first book to my editor. The manuscript for Love the Home You Have is complete and has been sent off for edits. I can hardly believe it. It seems like ages since I reluctantly wrote the book proposal, so it’s exciting to reflect on how far the project has come. I’m pleased with how the manuscript shaped up and I can’t wait to share it when it becomes a book.
Writing a book was hard, chaotic and deeply challenging. I had to make constant choices about how to use my time while also protecting life outside of writing. It wasn’t easy. I received support at home from my family and help with the blog from my daughters. I also had to decline more opportunities than I wanted to. I was determined that the blog wouldn’t suffer more than necessary because of the book; I wanted my readers to still know I was here. Even though I didn’t get everything right and withdrew from life more often than I wished, I’m glad the blog continued and the book was completed without a total breakdown. (I should mention I was working on two other books at the same time.)
Beyond juggling work—work I love—and caring for the blog and family, I’m most relieved that our home life remained steady. I’m no superhero, but each day brings small decisions that keep priorities straight and help me stay productive through a season that demands a lot emotionally, physically and mentally.
Every yes meant a no elsewhere. I had to say no to many things I wanted to do, but I continued saying yes to the priorities that mattered most and worked to find a rhythm of productivity and rest that suited me.
My husband and I still went on dates. I didn’t miss a Sunday at church or my time serving in the nursery. I kept spending time with family. Yet there were many things I didn’t do—opportunities I turned down that disappointed me. To meet deadlines and finish the book, tough decisions were necessary.
Years before I started The Inspired Room, I read a book that changed me. Lysa TerKeurst’s When Women Say Yes to God encouraged me to step beyond my comfort zone and pursue purpose. That message nudged me forward when I wanted to stay small and safe.
When fear crept in over the years, I often remembered Lysa’s words and gave brave yeses even when my first instinct was to shout no and retreat. That resolve helped me run this blog for years and led to writing eight books. Those yesses changed everything in countless good ways.
Recently I received Lysa’s newest book, The Best Yes. I read it with both anticipation and a little nervousness—her earlier book had encouraged many of my bold choices. Her new book again spoke to me, offering wisdom about distinguishing the right yeses from the many possible yeses we could give.
By the time I read The Best Yes I had nearly finished my first manuscript, but her insights about saying yes to what you’re called to and no to everything else were timely. Many people are exhausted and longing to say no, burdened by too many commitments. Lysa writes honestly about the cost of rushing and the loss of the soul’s sweet parts when life is governed by an overwhelmed schedule.
“I wrote this message because I need this message. I wrote it because I’m tired of rushing and stressing and missing out on the sweet parts of life. When I set my life to the rhythm of rush, I just quite honestly don’t like who I am. Rushing robs me of the parts of life that feed my soul. When a woman lives with the stress of an overwhelmed schedule, she’ll ache with the sadness of an underwhelmed soul.”
In ministry, it’s rare and beautiful to hear someone say yes to serving. Our family started a church five years ago, and while many people want to make a difference, life’s pressures often keep them from stepping forward. Knowing what to say yes to—and what to decline—is a transformative skill. Learning that balance is part of the journey.
“It’s not the activities or accomplishments we string together that make lives well lived as much as it is the hearts of wisdom we gain and use along the way.” – Lysa TerKeurst
I know from experience that brave yeses change lives. Saying yes to the right things opens doors to more courage and opportunities you might never have imagined. My first yes in starting The Inspired Room led to many more that required increasing boldness. Agreeing to write eight books was one of the scariest commitments I’ve made. I try not to think too far ahead—sometimes I simply say yes to daunting things and take life one day at a time.
Saying yes to the right things and no to the rest helps me stay sane, enjoy what I do and avoid spinning my wheels. I still make mistakes, sometimes agreeing to the wrong things or regretting a refusal, and when that happens the result can be messy. But learning to distinguish when to say yes and when to say no has been invaluable; Lysa’s advice on this matter is empowering and wise.
My intense season of book writing continues. Although this manuscript is in, I’m working on several other books, so the learning goes on. Still, I’m convinced that one brave yes in the right direction can launch a life and soul adventure you never expected.
What are some yeses you’re afraid of—and which nos might you offer more often?
- This post is part of Lysa TerKeurst’s “The Best Yes” blog tour, which I’m honored to join along with other bloggers.
Read more about my book writing journey and my seventh blogging anniversary here. See my post about blogging tips and the path that led me to this work here.