Although I originally wrote this post in 2008, I wanted to update it to reflect where I am now. Since then I’ve moved twice, but my feelings about my home haven’t changed. I still want to love the home I have, even if it isn’t the house of my dreams. Years later I continue to share this message because creating a home is an ongoing journey. I also wrote a book called Love the Home You Have, which became a New York Times bestseller, and another titled The Inspired Room. Both books are about looking at your own home with fresh eyes and making small, meaningful choices that turn a house into a home.
These books encourage stepping away from magazine-perfect expectations and embracing the house you actually live in. It’s the little touches—what you choose to keep, edit, and highlight—that create warmth and personality. You don’t need an expensive renovation to make your space feel intentional and loved.
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NY Times Bestseller!>> Love the Home You Have
January 2008
I once played with the idea of designing a virtual dream house just for fun. The styles I picture swing wildly—English cottage, French country chateau, farmhouse with wide hallways. Big houses, small houses, cozy winter retreats, airy summer homes, painted white or dark and rich wood. I love so many styles that I can’t settle on just one. The good and frustrating thing is that I can find a piece of myself in nearly every aesthetic.
In real life, though, dreams are built where we live. We rarely get to create a home from scratch; instead we work with what we have and shape it into something meaningful. You don’t have to live in your perfect fantasy to make every day feel like an adventure. Explore possibilities within your present space and let imagination guide you.
My current house carries a particular mood—an old-world, cozy feel. Trying to force a light, breezy summer look on a house with heavy woodwork and antique details wouldn’t have made sense. Instead we leaned into that atmosphere. The character of the house—rambling halls, stairways, and original fixtures—felt like an old European inn, and rather than resist it we embraced it. That doesn’t mean you have to be trapped by the house’s style. A defined character can help you decide what to keep and what to change, but mixing eras and elements can make a space feel personal and unique.
Think about what your dream life looks like. If you imagine a life full of romance, travel, charm and a sense of living in another time and place, you can create ambient touches that cultivate that feeling where you are now. Ambience is a powerful design tool.
Lighting is one of the simplest and most effective ways to shape atmosphere. We love lamps and fixtures that create mood. One of the things we adored about this house was the antique lighting—lantern-style ceiling pendants and wall sconces that seem to belong to another era. These fixtures instantly add to the fairytale feeling we imagine every time we walk in the door.
We choose bulbs and shades carefully to maintain that warm, inviting glow. Bright, harsh light can expose every flaw, so our brightest bulbs are around 60 watts, while most are 20–40 watts or even nightlight-level in small lamps. Candle-shaped bulbs, warm-toned shades, dimmers on overhead fixtures, and three-way lamps let us layer light for different moods. Candles add a finishing touch. Thoughtful lighting makes a house glow, draws you down long hallways, highlights cozy nooks for reading or tea, and generally invites you to linger. Even in a modern or beach-style house, lighting plays the same essential role in creating the desired mood.
Of course, our dream could be completely different. We might imagine a sun-drenched home with Caribbean-striped rugs, breezy sheers, and open French doors. The fixtures and lamps would still matter—at night or on cloudy days they even out the light and define spaces—but the overall feeling would be bright, fresh and lively instead of old-world romantic. Each house simply offers a new chapter in our story: different scenery, different colors, different rhythms. What remains constant is the sense of adventure and romance we bring with us.
Even if we’ll never fully own a literal dream house, we can create the essence of that dream right where we are. Build scenes that reflect your desires—whether that’s an English castle, a coastal bungalow, or a sunlit farmhouse. Small, intentional choices add up and turn ordinary rooms into the backdrop for a life you love.
Stay tuned for future installments in the Love the House You’re In and My Dream Home series.
House drawings referenced in the original post were from houseplans.com and homeplans.com, resources worth exploring if you enjoy looking at floorplans and dream styles.